I love helping women change their mindsets to change their lives. I am an empath and a recovering people-pleaser with a passion for deep transformational conversations.

So how can I help you? I help you unlock your vision, get clear on what's most important, and empower you to take inspired action steps towards creating a life anchored in your Self.

I'm a Certified Professional Coach and I received my certification through Erickson Coaching International. I provide solution-focused coaching that fully supports you on your transformational journey. Together we will co-create, not only through conversation but with the use of proven tools and processes that will help you shift in powerful ways and finally take inspired action to design a fulfilling life.

How did I get here?

My name is Melissa Ilene Perez and I am a recovering people-pleaser 

For as long as I could remember, I was a people-pleaser. I learned from a young age and believed that making other people happy was my duty in life. I thrived on outside validation from being told I was a good friend, daughter, co-worker, insert your relatable life role here. I always tried to live up to external expectations by always saying yes to what others wanted from me or for my life, even if it was not in my best interest. The thought of saying no or challenging others made me sick to my stomach. As an empath, I couldn't bear the feelings of disappointment and I was terrified of losing people or opportunities if I did.

I didn’t know I was giving from an empty cup

I had no boundaries, no identity, no voice, and I was constantly giving my power away. As I got older, I watched my validators move on with their lives without me. They didn’t need me to do what was best for them. But I needed them. I felt abandoned, lost, and lonely. The life I thought was my own wasn’t mine at all. It was the culmination of choices and decisions made by others. All of a sudden my life felt empty. I felt empty. I gave all of my Self away.

I felt like I was in a bad dream and would never wake up. How did I let this happen? I supported and watched everyone else achieve their life goals as I let my dreams fade into the darkness. To make people feel like the center, I made my Self smaller. It was the ultimate betrayal.

People-pleasing is a one-way street to a dead end. You get nothing in return but resentment, hurt feelings, and guilt. It was becoming painfully obvious that I needed to put myself first.

I didn’t feel like my life was worth living…because it was not my life after all

I was in a constant state of comparing myself to other people, and it led me down a dark path of self-loathing and self-sabotage. I wanted more from my life but I couldn’t articulate what that more was or what it was supposed to look like. I lacked the courage, the confidence, and the tools to follow through with my goals and dreams. If I wasn't talking myself out of doing something meaningful, then I was letting others talk me out of it. Their opinions were still more important than my own. I didn't have the right support systems in place. I continued to look for love and validation from people who were not equipped or cared to support me.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired

Years and years of overextending my Self caused me to feel extremely emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. I was overwhelmed and under-supported. I started to experience periods of depression and I realized that it was time for me to seek some professional help. I finally put my Self first. I learned I developed a pattern of trying to be everything for everyone. I also learned as an empath how easy it is to get swept up in someone else's energy and mistake it for my own.

It was time I started to take responsibility for my life and move forward. I took some time to go within, did the work to develop better support systems, and I learned to say no. I would say no at the cost of losing people and opportunities. I would say no at the cost of being labeled selfish. Being labeled selfish would be assigned by the way others saw me because I stopped sacrificing my Self for them. But it didn't matter anymore. I was no longer living for them. I was living for me.

Where I am today

People-pleaser to empowered giver

It is in my nature to want to help and support others. I feel it's deeply connected to my purpose in life. I choose to do the inner work and have transformed from a people-pleaser to an empowered giver over the years. I embraced the challenge of redefining who I wanted to be for my Self, not for others. I can give more freely because I filled my cup first. I've learned that those who have clear and compassionate boundaries are the most giving, kind, and loving people.

I have a better relationship with my Self. I am more confidant and courageous in my everyday life and interactions with others. I feel blessed to have been able to personally experience the power of coaching and having the opportunity to coach others. I found a judgment-free space that supported me in expressing my truth, getting clear on my values, and redefining my identity.

Coaching has infused my life with meaning and purpose. It helped me believe in my Self and start a new chapter.

I'm here now because I want to be an example of what's possible when you put your Self first.